Discernment... or speculation?

"Far and above the most revealing aspect of anyone’s character is how he handles people. Friends, I hope you understand this—the way a person handles others is the acid test of his true nature." --John Eldredge, The Utter Relief of Holiness

Yesterday, as I was reading through the daily reading in 1 Samuel, I came across a scene that I had read dozens of times before but never really stopped to consider fully. Hannah was a childless woman in Israel, barren in a culture where the ability to have children was seen as the favor of God, and a fruitless womb was interpreted as a curse. Shamed, humiliated, relentlessly oppressed by her husband's other wife who had already given him children, Hannah went to the tabernacle, into the presence of Yahweh, to pour her heart out. Scripture says, "She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly... speaking in her heart, only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard." (1 Sam. 1:10, 13)

What happens next in the narrative is significant. Eli is the high priest at the tabernacle. He sees Hannah. He watches her closely. Scripture says, "Eli observed her mouth." Moving in silent, desperate pleading, tears dripping from her face. Now... watch this carefully. What does this man of God do? How does he respond?

"Eli took her to be a drunken woman. And Eli said to her, 'How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.' "(1 Sam. 1:13-14) The original Hebrew word translated "took her" literally means to weave or fabricate. In the modern vernacular, he jumped to a conclusion. He made an assumption based on what he saw without knowing the full story. He speculated.

This is dangerous ground for anyone, but for a pastor this can be particularly harmful to your congregation. Speculation relies wholly on what you can see. The root of the word speculate is the Latin word specere meaning "to look at." The problem is that we all "see" through different lenses that color our perception and interpretation: past experiences, hurts, wounds, unresolved anger or bitterness, and the cynicism that can often result if those things are not addressed and healed.

It works like this: Pastor Bob (totally fictional -- please no speculating) has seen it all in his years of ministry. He has poured his life into caring for the flock and takes his responsibility seriously. But along the way he has been hurt, disappointed, even attacked by the people he serves. He has been lied to, and lied about. He has given Biblical wisdom and advice only to have it be ignored, and then watched marriages and families suffer for it.

Over the years he has become jaded towards people and cynical about their motives. He begins to assume the worst, then look for things in their life to confirm his suspicions. He will find something -- the Enemy will see to that -- and when he does, in his heart he thinks, "Aha! Just as I thought..." and he begins to speculate. He takes what little he sees, mixes it with what he suspects, and fills in the blanks with his own imagination until he comes up with a version of the truth that fits. He makes a judgment, the gavel falls, and the sentence is passed: Guilty by Pastoral Speculation. The sentence is to be labeled, stuck on a shelf in his mind, and held prisoner there forever.  And here is the saddest part of it all: Pastor Bob believes that this is discernment. He believes that he has developed a special insight when what he has really developed is a judgmental heart and a critical spirit.

Kudos to Hannah for not being offended at Eli's accusation. She could have easily been angry and stormed out, "I am never coming back to this church again!" She could have let herself be deeply hurt, given all that she had already experienced. Her priest -- who was supposed to care for her as a child of God -- falsely accused her of drunkenness! She could have blown up Facebook about how she was treated and done a lot of damage, maybe even caused a split. (I know, I know, it's the tabernacle and Israel, but try to roll with it for the sake of making a point.) I have seen it go down that way plenty of times. But Hannah's trust was in God, not men.

It struck me as I read this that if I am not careful, I could easily fall into this trap. God knows, in my short time in ministry (less than ten years) I have already seen enough to be jaded. I have found myself actually saying out loud to another pastor, "Ministry would be great if it weren't for people!" And we laugh like it's this funny joke. But it betrays a shift in my heart that, if I am not aware of it, can turn me into an Eli -- speculating, assuming, judging, accusing, and labeling the very people who need my help most. It is arrogance at its worst.  It makes me wonder if Hannah might have been thinking of Eli when she prayed, "Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth; for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed." (1 Sam. 2:3)

Look, Eli was not a bad guy. Once he found out the truth he was pretty encouraging to Hannah. And he did a decent job training a young Samuel (1 Samuel 3). But he had his blind spots (two of them were named Hophni and Phineas), and they ultimately cost him his priesthood and devastated his family for generations. My responsibility as a pastor is to make sure my blind spots are not damaging my family, my congregation, and my potential impact for the Kingdom of God.

There are more ways to disqualify yourself from ministry than a moral failure. I can render myself ineffective by speculating about people's motives, passing judgment on them, and then treating them like second-class sinners rather than grace-given saints, all in the name of discernment.

God, deliver me from myself: from my arrogance, from my imagination about the motives of others. Only you know the whole story about any of us. Help me to take the time to listen and pray before I jump to a conclusion about anyone. May the same grace and mercy you have extended to me be the context for every relationship in my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.