Recriminations. Second guessing. Self doubt.
"Did I say that right? Maybe I shouldn't have said that one thing. I forgot to say that other thing! Did I go too long?"
And so they come... the questions, the regrets, the feeling that you somehow failed to live up to the expectations. Everyone who has ever accepted the responsibility to preach knows what I mean. The second you step off the platform the voices start. It is, of course, the Enemy. He is a liar and the Father of Lies. The biggest lie the preacher believes is that it all depends on him. How well he communicated. How much research he did. How effective he was. How close to the allotted time he went.
The truth is that the Word is alive. It preaches itself if you let it. And here is the thing I miss so often: It continues to preach long after I stopped talking.
Today, I preached on Proverbs 3:5-6 -- trusting in God with your whole heart and not leaning o your own understanding. I was long. At least 45 minutes. Maybe longer. Immediately after I finished, the doubts and recriminations began. But this time I felt strangely at peace. It's a peace that had at its root the calm assurance that I had waited on God to tell me what to say. And I had been faithful to say it. Was it perfect? Hardly. But I was obedient. And when we obey, we trust God for the outcome.
So today, driving home from church, and all the voices started in questioning and second-guessing I felt the Spirit of God wash over me in a wave of peace and I heard this in my mind: "What happened, happened. It is what it is. Now let's see what God makes of it." Yes! That's it! "See what God makes of it." Because the Word doesn't stop working when the preacher stops talking. In fact, I believe that's when it just gets going.
Now... let's see what God makes of it.
