Romans 12:18
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Reading these words this morning, the first thing that jumps off the page to me is the word “if.” A tiny word with big implications. “If” is a conditional term. It implies that a cause-effect dynamic is at play. If this happens, then that will happen as a result. If you do this, then I will do that. We sometimes use the word “if” when laying out a possible course of action, should the worst befall us. “If all else should fail…” It cautions us to be prepared.
The next word is “possible.” Possibilities are by their very nature not guaranteed. When combined with the word “if” it conveys a sense of contingency. “If possible” implies that it may very well not be possible. When it comes to peace in relationships, how do we know when it is still possible or it has become impossible?
“So far as it depends on you.” When I have done all I can to keep peace and the other party continues to seek conflict, then I know it is impossible so far as it depends on me. But never should peace between persons break down because of me. I once read in a book that, while you cannot control how another person acts/reacts, you can control how you act/react. The author said it like this: “My response is my responsibility.” That has always stuck with me. Not that I have perfected the practice of that ideal yet, but the truth of it is undeniably resonant within me.
How many times has a discussion about a decision or a situation between me and my wife turned into a “knock-down-drag-out” battle because my response was angry, self-defensive, or critical? (Too many. “Too many” is the answer to that question!) This is where the spiritual fruit of self-control is so crucial. Peace between people is only realistic if at least one party decides that, come what may, they will respond with kindness, graciousness, gentleness, calm, humility, and self-control. “So far as it depends on you” means that you cannot wait until you are in the heat of the moment to decide you want to try out this self-control thing. It must be something you are committed to from the outset. And it takes a daily crucifying of the flesh and presenting of the self to God on the altar as a “living sacrifice.”
However, this does not always mean pacifism. Sometimes, having done all that can reasonably be done “so far as it depends on you,” peace is just not possible. For example, in the case of abortion, when a follower of Christ (or anyone else who holds life precious and sacred) has done everything to reason with and peaceably discuss the issue, and the other side remains staunchly insistent on the right to murder unborn children in the name of “freedom” or “women’s rights,” then there is no reconciliation possible. The two positions are polar opposites, based on completely different and opposing worldviews that are in no way compatible. It doesn’t excuse violence, but it does mean there can be no peaceful resolution between the two ideals.
Sometimes – many times, with increasing frequency and intensity – following Christ takes the option of peaceful relations off the table. I will not compromise what God has clearly commanded in scripture. I will not water down, back down, or in any way betray my allegiance to the Kingdom of God. If the prospect of peaceful relations requires I offend my Savior and dishonor His Name by living contrary to His revealed will, then the price for that peace is too high and I will not pay it. Not now. Not ever.
This is why Paul adds the caveat “if possible, so far as it depends on you.” This is why Paul doesn’t merely tell the Roman church to “live peaceably with all.” Can you imagine the chaos that would cause, the confusion as they struggled with how to maintain integrity before Christ and be at peace with everyone? What happens when the government demands that you accept the sin for which Christ went to the cross as normal and even desirable? What happens when certain groups insist you adopt their beliefs and values and forsake Christ… or else? Sometimes peace is simply not possible, no matter how much we wish it were. Ask Israel. They know a thing or two about when peace is not possible.
Father, I walk out into this day clothed in the righteousness of Christ, in the power of Your Spirit, and covered by the blood of Jesus shed on the cross for me. Grant me the supernatural ability to control my tongue and my actions, as well as reactions, today. “So far as it depends on me,” help me to live peaceably with all. Especially those who hate You, or hate me because of You. Help me to know when peace is not possible. But even then, let my responses never be harsh, angry, or violent in any way. Let my response always be truth spoken in love. Grant me boldness to never back down or compromise my faith in You. And grant me the grace to express Your love gently, calmly, and peaceably to all.
I am incapable in my own strength and will power. I cannot simply resolve to do this. I need Your power, Your Spirit working in me, God. Love others through me today, for Your Kingdom’s sake. In the name of Jesus, my Savior, my Lord, my King! Amen!
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